Going Gently

The Snowman

We went to see the serial killer movie The Snowman tonight, which was two hours I am not going to ever get back.
The Prof enjoyed the gratuitous shots of Michael Fassbender in his underpants though

" Not What I had wanted it to be...."

The upside of having a new phone is organisation.
It can do everything and it forgets nothing.
Yesterday I found myself going through an old notebook.
It was the sort that most of us have from time to time.
Scribbled notes, telephone numbers...names from the past.
I tiptoed through the pages, cherry picking the contacts I needed to store in my new shiny smart phone.
One name caught my eye. I shall call her Helen.
Helen and I were friends and colleagues in Sheffield and we worked very effectively together.
She was a consultant and I was the ward manager, and apart from sharing a respect and depth of knowledge in the field we found ourselves in, we shared a wicked sense of humour, similar emotional intelligence and benefited from liking each other a great deal.
She moved away before I left Sheffield and as friends do sometimes when life gets in the way, we lost touch.
Yesterday I spied her old mobile number, hidden away in a corner of my notebook
It was twelve years old , so I doubted it would be current, but on impulse I messaged her.
The reply came back almost immediately and messages shot back and forth with gay abandon even though she was at work and couldn't really " speak"
We have arranged to meet up and even though texts are notoriously unemotional sometimes, something in the tone of it prompted me to ask "are you happy?"
The reply moved me with it's honesty
"Not very...no....my life isn't awful. Just not what I wanted it to be"

Before Albert ...there was Joan

Joan a day before she died three years after moving to Wales

Before Albert there was Joan
Joan was a true Yorkshire cat
She was vocal, opinionated and assertive
She stood no messing and she was quick to love.
Her and her sister Betty were my first pets in Sheffield.
Joan lived until she was 20 Betty died at 19
They were sisters with spunk!
I remember very well the first time Joan met our first dog Finlay
Finlay was a sweet natured Welsh Terrier pup.
He bounced up to her in our old dining room like a loon and was promptly battered within an inch of his life

Note to all!
Never Cross A Sheffield Lass with frivolous behaviour
Yorkshire Gals hate fuss

Albert

Albert in his kitten cardboard box

In the Autumn of 2008 on a whim I drove into the animal rescue centre at Dyserth and asked a remarkably wizened old lady with an unlit fag hanging out of her mouth if she had any cats who could hold their own against a quartet of terriers. She told me that she hadn't but took my telephone number " just in case"

That very afternoon she rang me

" we've just had an older kitten brought in by a woman with two staffies" she rasped

" He's a feisty little bugger".

I called down to the shelter later that day and literally minutes after seeing him, I took possession of a tiny wide eyed black kitten with a sad history.

Albert was the only survivor of a littler of feral kittens . His mother had brought them up in a farm outbuilding next to a busy road and had herself been killed the day after Albert's brother had been knocked over by a milk lorry. Albert and his sister had carried on in a fashion through the charity of one of the farm workers. It was the farm worker who had rescued him after Albert's sister was killed on the same patch of road.

It was the farm worker's wife who had re homed Albert after one of their staffie crosses had taken a dislike to the kitten.

The sob story was worthy of Walt Disney's BAMBI.

Albert arrived wide eyed yet remarkably calm, and set up home inside a cardboard box placed carefully on the dining room table. For six weeks he lived on the table and on the kitchen cabinets without once setting a foot on the floor ( even the cat littler was placed out of dog sniffing) and for six weeks he drove the dogs mad by remaining just that bit out of reach.

The resulting hysteria bubbled just under boiling point as the terriers lived in a permanent state of cat arousal

It was a long , long month and a half!

Then it all changed.

For one very cold night , he left the safety of the kitchen table and took his place in front of the fire with the other dogs as if he had been doing so for years

Apart from William raising a single eyebrow , nothing was ever said about this sudden assertion .

For nine years now Albert has been a true delight.

He's been knocked over by a car , breaking a leg, (which he still can't bend properly)

He has killed hundreds of rabbits, mice , small rats and birds

and he has gone out of his way to be an active part of the cottage dog pack spending a few minutes every day head rubbing each dog in turn in happy recognition of a friend well loved.

Albert is a constant backdrop to the more boisterous animals at bwthyn y llan, and is necessary to the running of the place as oxygen

The Wreck of The Hesperus

The workmen are ripping out the kitchen window which is proving to be a harder job than they anticipated. There is much noise, the smashing of glass and some colourful swearing.
The terriers are safely away in the back of the car. Winnie is watching everything from the garden and
Albert is sat with me, nervous that there are strangers around.
He is ruffling my hair and jumps after one of the workmen shouts " Bastard!"

Shit, I look like the Wreck of The Hesperus!

Bits of news

The kitchen fitter comes tomorrow to check the new kitchen dimensions . A plumber is coming too in order to replace a radiator and to add to the mayhem the window chap is replacing the old kitchen window in the lane. Three workmen in one day! Winnie will be knocking out the orgasms like confetti.
Della from up the lane called in to tell me that she could hear me having a conversation on the phone when she rang her mother ..BT are investigating
Farmer Basil has a new sheepdog puppy. He's a bit bouncy
Daphne and Meirion are off to Australia on holiday, we talked for ages about nice places to go in Sydney
Polish Monika is working in the Crown !
The Flower Show review meeting has been booked for next Tuesday, we need to figure out what village initiatives we can financially support this year.
Teenage Boffin Cameron is taking a gap year off after school!
The old farm house Bryn Teg, which is hidden away in the centre of the village has been sold, the new owner is doing it up nicely
Auntie Glad's house has not been sold as yet
The Prof is working away again.....I'm listening to Tom waits Fawn in the dark...it's strangely hypnotic

Pandora's Box

When the Harvey Weinstein furore first broke in the news, I was initially dreadfully confused as the thought of him sexually molesting any A list actress seemed awfully far fetched to me.
It was only then that I realised that I thought the press was talking about Harvey Fierstein the gay actor and not the slug like movie producer Weinstein .
Hey ho!

The abuse of power for sexual gratification, once again has been given centre stage by the media and although I suspect 90% of women at one time or another have been subjected to varying degrees of unwanted " attention" , either in the workplace or in education , the phenomenon is not purely confined to female victims and male protagonists.

When I was a student nurse I once was subjected to some low level sexual " horseplay" by two female enrolled nurses. It lasted for twelve weeks ( the length of a placement on the ward I had been allocated to) and it was an unpleasant, and upsetting time to live through.

The two women in question were just a little older than I and they thought the whole thing was great fun, especially as I was a real shy blusher and they egged each other on.
The horseplay started with hair roughing and unwanted hugging, but as they saw that I was quietly flummoxed by it all, their actions graduated to unexpected groping, the dreadfully embarrassing " grabbing of the back of the underpants and pulling" moments and kisses on the back of the neck.

The thought it was in anyway abuse, never crossed my mind or the minds of the other staff who witnessed it but It was a truly awful time, and it made me miserable, even though way back then then it was chalked up to commonplace workplace " banter" which had to endured by the grunts.

Thank goodness, things have moved on from then
Worryingly in Hollywood that doesn't quite seem the case.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I shall leave you with this video which has nothing to do with sexual abuse but which has everything to do with the general abuse of animals.
Chimpanzees that have been laboratory raised, see " freedom" for the first time
Watch this video without bawling

Bake Off ( Beware Spoilers)

Yan, the big hearted, wise cracking Londoner was voted off Bake Off tonight, which was a real shame .I noticed that throughout the series she was the one that helped her fellow bakers the most, which underlined her innate good nature and humour!
Her family, friends and wife should be very proud of her!

Poof!

In comprehensive school in the 1970s the worst name one boy could call another was the word " poof!"

As I recall the name was more concerned more with effeminacy rather than with overt homosexuality, but the definition, I guess was fluid and totally negative as poof was synonymous with weakness, an inability in sports ability and cowardice.

When I was a bit older I rather liked to reclaim the name!

I refused to let the word make me feel in any way negative or second best

In Sheffield I had neighbours on one side that kept themselves to themselves. They were a bit common, and the mother of the household would constantly yell at her brood of useless teenage sons.

One Sunday morning the boys were all sat in their garden ( on an old sofa- how lovely) hidden from my view by a tall brick wall. Presumably they were all suffering from hangovers as the mother prepared lunch and as I gardened around my neat little garden I heard the mother as she berated them

" you treat this place like a bleeding hotel!" She bellowed "Why can't you be like that old poof next door and keep the place tidy!!!"

"LESS OF THE OLD!" I shouted back at her as the family dissolved into silence

When I joined the village community council I remarked to fellow councillor- the Red Faced Welsh Farmer- that it was about time that there was a poof on the committee. Of course I said it out of devilment and of course the red faced Welsh Farmer never so much twitched an eyebrow at the remark.

I bought a pouffe yesterday. I've always wanted one and as the Prof climbed into the car he spied it on the back seat

" oh two poofs in the car" he quipped

Oh Lordy

I deleted today's post by mistake as I was waiting for the car to pass it's MOT
IT's my fat fingers on my iPhone .
It is a bit like threading a needle with a raw sausage !
Yesterday's post cost me three followers! I should have known better!
I thought it was measured and fair.
At least Ursula got all moist over it.
She loves conflict.

I fell over this morning as I was trying to take a picture of a kingfisher.
The kingfisher in question was a seven foot wooden sculpture on the banks of the river Elwy and not the actual bird, although I managed to witness the real thing as it looped over the water quite, quite beautifully.
It was a wonderful thing to see on a sunny morning.

Two elderly ladies on sticks saw me slide down the long grassy bank on my arse.
I think it provided them with quite a spectacle given the fact that Mary's lead was wrapped around my wrist and she followed me quite gleefully a second after I had disappeared from view!
It must have looked all rather Wile E Coyote
They stopped and asked if I was alright which was sweet of them .

I Don't Understand

Yesterday I was asked by a villager to be a referee for them.
The reference was for a shotgun licence.
When I was asked, I must admit I did hesitate for a moment, but as the shotgun was an antique, had been dismantled and was kept by the most responsible of owners I was happy to oblige.

Now I've blogged about gun laws before and the ensuing debate it caused opened my eyes to a few things, namely the near fanatical way many Americans view their right to bear arms.
Owning an antique family heirloom is one thing which is acceptable to me. If the owner was a farmer and wanted to use the gun at work, then I would have signed the forms too. But if the gun owner just wanted the gun " as protection" then I would have refused the request.

One of the biggest reasons for gun ownership in the US seems to be for protection. It's a kill them before they kill me mentality and although I do disagree with it, I do understand it to a degree.
What I cannot get my head around at all is the need for some seemingly ordinary people to keep automatic weapons. Automatic weapons that can kill 58 people and wound nearly 500 in just under an hour.

I just don't understand that.
And I never will.

Mine

He works too hard.
He can't knock a nail into a piece of wood.
He's crap at badminton.
He wakes far too early in the morning and switches on his bloody iPad
He's loud when I want to be quiet.
He moans constantly about the fact I leave my clothes on the floor of the bathroom.

My husband is finally home today after a week away
And I am very glad!

What Makes Us Human?

I heard Melvin Bragg talking in about this subject in an essay of his, that he read out on the radio.
His take on it is that humans have and hold dear and indeed cultivate friendships.
I think he is right.
Animals have companions.Companions that they live with, play with and spend time with but they don't have friendships. Friendships are quintessentially a human phenomenon .
A dear friend of mine has just received some life changing news.
He was stoic, and typically cavalier about the whole thing but did show the real emotions behind the mask of ok-ness when I pushed him gently.
I have known him twenty years or so and I am glad to be able to stand in his corner now, as he would do in mine if the tables were turned.
That's what friends do.
My best friend Nu, picked up on my upset and waded in with some support of her own. It was a brief phone call. I had been washing Mary's " Mary" in the kitchen sink and she was still outside St Paul's basking in the Late afternoon London sunshine , but in a few words I too felt supported at a time of reflection and unhappiness.
That's the strength of the chain of friendship me thinks.
Each link supporting the next.
That's the power of friendship.
And that's what makes us human

For One Night Only

I forgot to blog today, and only just realised when I went on line to see what movies were playing in the local cinemas.
The weather is damp and its dark and miserable outside, and the woodburner has made the cottage all cosy, so instead of going out I am having a night off with weightwatchers and have planned an evening with some fatty nibbles , an energising face mask, a pair of fluffy slippers and a great South Korean zombie movie!

I'm easily pleased!

Cobwebs

Cobwebs needed to be blown away today. And the view from the Gop was indeed lovely

Thinking of an old Sheffield friend this afternoon...with much love

Relationships With A Tom Cat

The Prof is away until Sunday.

I am all alone till then.

Today I shall meet my Sister in Law for lunch as it's her birthday. Then I shall go and see the new Blade Runner movie.( even though I never really liked the original)

If the weather improves the shrubs in the back garden need pruning and I've promised a neighbour to do a few errands.....errands that need physical effort and brute force

George is not himself and has been restless all night. He only settled when I took him to bed and allowed him to sleep with his head on the Prof's pillow.

He's an old Scotty Dog now.

Albert is off colour too. He's vomited mice bits all over the Prof's office overnight and is now " resting" gently on our bed watching the bachelors as they fight for the top spot on the hen house roof in the Ukrainian Village

Uncharacteristically , Mary has been somewhat gentle and attentive and has sat meekly by his side as he recooperates.

She licked the wax out of his ears for an age, a practice that seems to settled his stomach. and refused to leave him when I called her for a walk.

Her loyalty has surprised me, as Albert main doggy relationship has always been with Winnie.

Winnie being the fat fickle diva that she is, is presently rubbing her fanny on the side of the living room bookcase.

Note to self: go and find the kitchen roll and some squirty cleaner

Quiet Desperation

Sad Lives Dimsdale as the thwarted Doctor Astrov

Who was it that said we all live our lives in quiet desperation ?
It was someone famous I am sure.....someone here will no doubt let me know the answer.
With the Prof away working all week, Me and a friend went to see Theatre Clwyd's production of Uncle Vanya last night.
It's been an absolute age since I've seen any Chekhov and last night's production did not disappoint even though the subject matter was rather melancholy.
Uncle Vanya portrays a dysfunctional family living a desperate life on a decaying country estate. Bitter, resentful and disappointed with lives not lived, the family bicker and spar as their hopes for a better life ebb and flow away.
Last night's production was set in the studio theatre, which means that the audience up front and personal with the performers, so it was easy to see the quality of the acting on show. Rosie Sheehy as the tragic but valliant Sonya and Oliver Dimsdale as doctor Astrov being standouts in an excellent cast.

Cheats

Years ago now I had the opportunity to live in the pretty seaside town of Southport for half a year. I rented my little house in Sheffield to a Cliff Richard loving support worker and moved into a Victorian nurses home just out of town and enjoyed a salaried time completing a certificates in Spinal Injury Nursing and in teaching and assessing.

I also got involved with a guy on another course who like me was away from his home city.

The only difference with him was that he went home at weekends and I stayed in Southport or went to see family or friends.

Now I share this information because blog reader Andrea sent me a photo of this Pittsburgh rehabilitation centre that was one of several I visited whilst I was on this course at Southport. The connections made there led to some valuable nursing experience in and around the city of Pittsburgh, a city of great charm, I thought at the time

Anyhow I digress -back to my new boyfriend whom I shall call James.

James was funny, handsome and unexpectedly swept me off my fairly inexperienced gay feet without too much trouble. I had only just come out so was flattered by all of the attention, so missed the fact that every weekend he went home!

It transpired that he went home to his fiancé.

When I eventually found this out, I finished our relationship immediately even though James was quite happy to keep things going and I remember being flabbergasted by the apparent ease of his cheating nature even on the eve of his own wedding!

There are always people in this world that cheat.

I am happy not to be one of them.

Tell me your cheating story!

A Normal Monday

I've just made a batch of pea soup and a pot of meatballs smothered with a tomato sauce....all from scratch, this mindless act of basic cookery seems to be the highlight of the day
The low point was getting stung on the stomach by a wasp in the dog food aisle of Tescos.
That hurt like a bastard!
It's weird because I've hardly seen a single wasp for a few years
Mary is in season, a fact which seems to have set Winnie's masturbatory juices going ten to the dozen.